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| Rex, it wasn't neccesary for your team to get off the bus Sunday |
715 A.M.- I wake up to the sound of the worse ringtone ever (Verizon Wireless Standard Ringtone). Yup, time to get up. I proceed to hop out of bed and into the shower. It’s time to get ready for Rex Ryan and the Jets. I had to attend this game to see what all the hoopla about this self proclaimed super team was about. Now here’s the catch, my SUV’s window is shattered and Sunday is the day the insurance company decides they can come fix it. I get the typical 8am-12pm window which means, “We’ll be there at 1245.” So I’m stuck catching a ride with Grandma.
8:45 A.M.- I’m finally in Avon. I show up 30 minutes later from the time I’m supposed to meet her, and promptly get the “hurry up I’m pissed at the world voice.” Understandable I suppose, but anyone that knows me realizes you add 20-30 minutes onto whatever time you tell me. In my defense she should have known better!
9:30 A.M.- Grandma is doing 80 as we pass a state trooper. I look out the rear view mirror and see lights flashing and a wicked U-Turn in the middle of the road. This actually is the highlight of the morning so far; my 80 something year old grandma is flying faster than Chris Johnson streaking down the sidelines for a 80 yard TD run. The trooper tosses her a bone and settles on a 74 mph ticket, in which my grandma thanks him and says, “First ticket in 50 years.” That leads me to the “that’s twice my age” comment, while she grins. By the way, who the hell thanks the Trooper who just nailed you with a ticket that’s going to probably cost over 150 bucks?
10:30 A.M.- Finally, we pull into the Stadium, the smell of grilling is everywhere, unfortunately so are these drunk rabid 0-3 Bills fans. I hear, “Jay, look for a parking spot.” Grandma, who has a lot in common with the Bills brass (they’re all over 70), decides on a parking spot smaller then the holes the bills offensive line will create for CJ Spiller to run through today. We pull up to some tailgating fans, spraying explicatives everywhere, mostly starting with the letter F. As if this ride isn’t awkward enough, I’m now hearing F-bombs with Grandma!
11:00 A.M. - I’m waltzing through the stadium parking lot to hear Buffalo fans yelling “Jets Suck!” I just nod in complete disarray, seeing how last year the Jets came 1 game short of reaching the Superbowl. While on the other hand the Bills haven’t sniffed the playoffs in over a decade.
11:17 A.M. - Finally reach one of my boys over in parking lot C, in which the first thing I’m told is “Grab a beer.” Don’t have to ask me twice. Only problem with that is, it’s about 37 degrees in Buffalo and I have a ice cold beer in my hand.
11:30 A.M. - We meet up with some other friends that drove up in a Covered Wagon bus. We proceed to walk through about 40 of these RV’s in their own special lot. Some Jets fan wearing a Sanchez jersey is on top of a school bus, obviously drunk, while Bills fans are chucking full beer cans at him faster than a Stephen Strasburg fast ball, and I’m not kidding.
12:00 P.M. - Time to get my ticket and head into “The Ralph.” Not sure I’m naming my team after myself if it’s widely presumed across the NFL as the most broke franchise. Why not name it “Verizon Wireless Field?” or “Burger King Stadium?” Alright I’ll stop.
1:00 P.M. - Game Time, or if you’re a Bills fan, “Ryan Fitzpatrick time.” Eh, not such a great ring to that. By the way, they must lead the league in Ivy League players/coaches. I’m not sure this is a good thing.
1:04 P.M.- I sit in the wrong row which leads a few other fans to not even bother to check their seat numbers, and just sit in the ones next to mine. This in turn leads to some fans coming over and claiming that we’re all in their seats. Of course, this begins a heated argument which progresses to this exchange and I quote, “Well your tickets must be fake, because mine aren’t.” Only in Buffalo.
1:10 P.M. - The Jets score 5 minutes into the game; LT on the 1 yard plunge. The Bills could make Jamarcus Russell look like Peyton Manning. On that note we get to see Spiller kick return!
1:12 P.M. - So much for that, Buffalo muffs the short kick off. This is a blow out in the making.
1:20 P.M. - Folk misses a 30 yard chip shot, while the Bills special teams are celebrating as if they had something to do with it. Think Dallas misses Folk at all?
1:30 P. M. - One thing I’ll give Bills fans credit for is that they have a sense of humor. The first “Aaron Maybin is getting a lot of time” joke. Vegas should get the odds going the Bills draft either a running back or a Penn State linebacker with their top 5 pick they’re going to have in April’s draft.
1:47 P. M. - Fast forward half way through the 2nd quarter; you’re not going to believe this but Folk connects on a 19 yard field goal.
8:45 A.M.- I’m finally in Avon. I show up 30 minutes later from the time I’m supposed to meet her, and promptly get the “hurry up I’m pissed at the world voice.” Understandable I suppose, but anyone that knows me realizes you add 20-30 minutes onto whatever time you tell me. In my defense she should have known better!
9:30 A.M.- Grandma is doing 80 as we pass a state trooper. I look out the rear view mirror and see lights flashing and a wicked U-Turn in the middle of the road. This actually is the highlight of the morning so far; my 80 something year old grandma is flying faster than Chris Johnson streaking down the sidelines for a 80 yard TD run. The trooper tosses her a bone and settles on a 74 mph ticket, in which my grandma thanks him and says, “First ticket in 50 years.” That leads me to the “that’s twice my age” comment, while she grins. By the way, who the hell thanks the Trooper who just nailed you with a ticket that’s going to probably cost over 150 bucks?
10:30 A.M.- Finally, we pull into the Stadium, the smell of grilling is everywhere, unfortunately so are these drunk rabid 0-3 Bills fans. I hear, “Jay, look for a parking spot.” Grandma, who has a lot in common with the Bills brass (they’re all over 70), decides on a parking spot smaller then the holes the bills offensive line will create for CJ Spiller to run through today. We pull up to some tailgating fans, spraying explicatives everywhere, mostly starting with the letter F. As if this ride isn’t awkward enough, I’m now hearing F-bombs with Grandma!
11:00 A.M. - I’m waltzing through the stadium parking lot to hear Buffalo fans yelling “Jets Suck!” I just nod in complete disarray, seeing how last year the Jets came 1 game short of reaching the Superbowl. While on the other hand the Bills haven’t sniffed the playoffs in over a decade.
11:17 A.M. - Finally reach one of my boys over in parking lot C, in which the first thing I’m told is “Grab a beer.” Don’t have to ask me twice. Only problem with that is, it’s about 37 degrees in Buffalo and I have a ice cold beer in my hand.
11:30 A.M. - We meet up with some other friends that drove up in a Covered Wagon bus. We proceed to walk through about 40 of these RV’s in their own special lot. Some Jets fan wearing a Sanchez jersey is on top of a school bus, obviously drunk, while Bills fans are chucking full beer cans at him faster than a Stephen Strasburg fast ball, and I’m not kidding.
12:00 P.M. - Time to get my ticket and head into “The Ralph.” Not sure I’m naming my team after myself if it’s widely presumed across the NFL as the most broke franchise. Why not name it “Verizon Wireless Field?” or “Burger King Stadium?” Alright I’ll stop.
1:00 P.M. - Game Time, or if you’re a Bills fan, “Ryan Fitzpatrick time.” Eh, not such a great ring to that. By the way, they must lead the league in Ivy League players/coaches. I’m not sure this is a good thing.
1:04 P.M.- I sit in the wrong row which leads a few other fans to not even bother to check their seat numbers, and just sit in the ones next to mine. This in turn leads to some fans coming over and claiming that we’re all in their seats. Of course, this begins a heated argument which progresses to this exchange and I quote, “Well your tickets must be fake, because mine aren’t.” Only in Buffalo.
1:10 P.M. - The Jets score 5 minutes into the game; LT on the 1 yard plunge. The Bills could make Jamarcus Russell look like Peyton Manning. On that note we get to see Spiller kick return!
1:12 P.M. - So much for that, Buffalo muffs the short kick off. This is a blow out in the making.
1:20 P.M. - Folk misses a 30 yard chip shot, while the Bills special teams are celebrating as if they had something to do with it. Think Dallas misses Folk at all?
1:30 P. M. - One thing I’ll give Bills fans credit for is that they have a sense of humor. The first “Aaron Maybin is getting a lot of time” joke. Vegas should get the odds going the Bills draft either a running back or a Penn State linebacker with their top 5 pick they’re going to have in April’s draft.
1:47 P. M. - Fast forward half way through the 2nd quarter; you’re not going to believe this but Folk connects on a 19 yard field goal.
2:00 P.M. - It's now 17-0, good news is more CJ Spiller kick returns! I don't understand why they don't run Fred Jackson more, every time he gets the ball something good happens. He converts a nice 4 yard run on 4th and 3 out of the Wild Cat. Seriously why isn't this team trading Lynch for a bag of donuts at this point? He's taking up snaps from Spiller and Jackson.
2:15 P.M. - Touchdown Bills, 17-7, nice play. I think they scored this TD partially because the Jets were napping. Their defense makes alot of offenses look bad.
2:30 P.M. - Jets force a punt, leading to another Jets TD. Nice play, WR Brad Smith tosses a TD out of the wild cat. The Jets receivers are now throwing touchdown passes against the Bills. I'm kind of hoping Rex Ryan gets some action in at quarterback before the day is over.
2:32 P. M. - Fans are now exiting the stadium. You know it's bad when your fans are leaving in the middle of the 3rd quarter to a score of 24-7.
2:35 P.M. - Lynch fumbles, still confused why he's in the game. I think I know what's going on with the Bills. They wait until their players start to play so bad that they have little or no trade value left, then cut them! First it was Trent Edwards, who I'm sure they could have recieved at least a 4th or 5th round draft pick for. Next, I'm predicting the Bills cut Lynch whom the Packers would certainly offer up a 2nd round pick for.
2:40 P.M. - Sanchez is getting into the act of throwing touchdowns. He likes to wait until the game is out of hand before he gets involved. I will say LT is looking good. Jets are for real. They came into Buffalo and dismantled this JV team.
2:45 P.M. - Speak of the devil, LT runs for a nifty 26 yard touchdown. This crowd is now down to your average High School football game.
3:00 P.M. - Wow, a Mark Bruenell sighting! Funny thing about all this is that he could probably start for the Bills. Well when Rex decides to call off the horses, so do I.
3:10 P.M. - This Jets team is legit. They did what they were suppose to do in crushing the Bills. I'd normally say this isn't convincing enough for me, but seeing how the Bills went into New England and almost won, I have to say the Jets impressed me. Time to exit the "Ralph."
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